God I've been poor company of late. How attractive am I at the moment? "Ooh, I'm feeling fat", "Ooh, I'm feeling thin", "Ooh, work is boring", "Yah, I've got too much pressure on me", "Where does all the money go?", "Oooh, I'm doing brilliantly as a comedian!". If I were reading this crap, I'd probably say something like "Get a grip on yourself, get over yourself and STOP MOANING".

How self-oriented am I when I'm complaining about myself on my own blog!? Yep. We've reached a new line.

So, I can moan all I like, but I can't change the problems by moaning about them. I can work as hard as I like on one thing, but it won't necessarily fix all the other things around it. I have to have a serious think about the critical paths in my life plan and whether I'm presently dealing with issues that are on the critical path, or in some way tangential. I have no immediate answers. If I had answers, then I would probably be a lot happier. However, I'll have to get happiness from the pursuit of answers for the time being.

My general sense of control is quite low at the moment. I'm not feeling like I'm quite switched on about any individual issue that I have to deal with. There are gigs and other events imminent, including this bank holiday weekend, which I'm intent on not squandering, and I feel like I'm dealing with most things on a "just in time" basis, which is fine if I manage to get it all done, and would be totally horrendous if I didn't. I feel a bit like the work on the house could all go off track or off budget if I don't get the right things done in advance of my holiday at the end of the month, but I'm not entirely sure I know what the right things are, or whether I can fit them in around all the other crap I'm doing.

Sigh.

No. Upbeat. Be positive.

Well, tonight I have a gig. Which should be fun. It's more of a gig where I can do music stuff, so I'll do something musical, then. Good.

I need a beer. This weekend, I will have a beer. Good.

I wanted lunch, so I went to Tesco for Sushi and a wrap - low in calories and fat and among the things I like to eat. Also a bit of diversity in my diet. Good.

While at Tesco I indulged in some retail therapy and bought some CDs - a bit cheeky, but good too.

Yay. Positive times.

I'm I kidding anyone so far? No? Ah, go on. Go on, go on.

May 8th I'll have a plasterer visit and a TV aerial installation to look forward to. May 9th should be fun too. Realistically, there's fun to be had soon. Even more realistically, the weekend's pretty much here. I've a gig in a few hours, which is really the climax of any day, then there's the bit where I pack tonight for the weekend away, so, as my good friend pointed out on the phone last night, tomorrow morning is really the start of the weekend - a trip away via the working day in the office.

Yay for the British Work Ethic.

Having spent last night hacking plaster and other renderings off a wall using a mallet and chisel, and having managed to have only energy enough to shower, get into bed and veg out in front of Randall and Hopkirk (Vic and Bob's version), and MSN messenger, I've been something of a flopsy bunny for the last few hours. Basically, I've been harmless and fluffy, but not very active. On the up side, I did some good chippery last night and even managed to complete my ironing (also with R & H playing). On the down side, my physical exhaustion has a negative effect on my mood.

Still, I found some rubble in my bed, so it turns out that I've not been sleeping alone after all. I've had the company of rubble. Lovely rubbley.